The sex files: cavemen, monkeys and beetles

Bayman recently pointed out that he finds Neanderthals sexy, and thinks that maybe different hominids experimented with interspecies sex, perhaps while in college. Yet he may not be alone with these views, some people have proposed that red hair for example was a Neanderthal trait introduced into our gene pool. One of the long-standing problem with that theory is that no hybrid bones were ever uncovered, although a recent finding in Gibraltar may change that... Still according to wikipedia:

"On November 16, 2006 Science Daily published scientific test results demonstrating that Neanderthals and ancient humans probably did not interbreed. Scientists with the U.S. Department of Energy’s Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) and the Joint Genome Institute (JGI) sequenced genomic nuclear DNA (nDNA) from a fossilized Neanderthal femur. Their results more precisely indicate a common ancestor about 706,000 years ago, and a complete separation of the ancestors of the species about 376,000 years ago. Their results show that the genomes of modern humans and Neanderthals are at least 99.5-percent identical, but despite this genetic similarity, and despite the two species having cohabitated the same geographic region for thousands of years, there is no evidence of any significant crossbreeding between the two."

Of course this makes sex with monkeys even less probable. In fact, Dave Chapelle once pointed out that AIDS could not have come from someone having sex with monkeys, because anyone who would have sex with a monkey, probably doesn't have sex with woman. Yet there has been experiments by a Russian scientist in the past:

"Dr. Il'ya Ivanov was a world-renowned expert on veterinary reproductive biology, but he wanted to do more in life than breed fatter cows. So in 1927 he traveled to Africa to pursue his vision of interbreeding man and ape. Thankfully his efforts weren't successful. To a great degree this was due to the native staff of the West Guinea research facility where he worked, from whom he constantly had to conceal the true purpose of his experiments. If they had found out what he was really doing, he wrote in his diary, "this could have led to very unpleasant consequences." The necessity of carrying out his work in secrecy made it almost impossible to do anything, although he did record two unsuccessful attempts to artificially inseminate female chimpanzees with human sperm."

He eventually tried to implant an orangutan embryo into a human womb, but the ape (Tarzan) died before the experiment could be performed, and he was sent to prison.

Still, sex with monkeys is probably more pleasant than sex with Bruchid beetles, at least for females. In this species the males unfurl an impressive penis covered with spikes and impales the female's reproductive tract. The female tries to kick the male to end copulation early and minimize damage. However she does get something out of it, she uses the copious amount of ejaculate to rehydrate and nourish herself. So the perfect female in beetles likes it quick and swallows...

In humans, kissing may also be a way for females to rehydrate: "Males, however, were more likely than females to initiate open mouth kissing and kissing with tongue contact. The researchers speculate that the exchange of saliva during kissing may have biological consequences in its own right. Male saliva contains measurable amounts of the sex hormone testosterone which can affect libido."

Red hair was sexually selected

We recently had a debate as to which animals have colour vision. Being avid fly fishermen, we debated wether the colour of the fly really does anything. Can fish see colour? Obviously tropical fish are very colourful but can they appreciate it? Well it turns out, that fish may in fact see more colours than we do. Some of them can see ultraviolet as well as infrared. In fact if you look at reef fish with a UV filter, all kinds of new interesting patterns emerge. The goldfish for example has 4 different cones sensitive to different wavelengths. This brings up the question as to why evolution drives the selection for colour vision. Our ability to see red, green and blue is actually a recent event in our common ancestors with primates. The proposed hypothesis for the evolution of red vision is that it enabled the foraging of ripe fruits in the green background of the vegetation. From then on, red hair, and red appendages were positively selected for in primates by sexual selection. Red hair effectively became sexually desirable, and a red bottom for example, would be a very good cue of the receptivity of the female monkey.

Why girls can't throw

After much research into this area, I am ready to reveal my shocking discovery. Have you ever wondered why girls are so bad at throwing overarm?
"In one of the better-known investigations, boys and girls were asked to throw a softball with their dominant and then with their nondominant hands. Surprisingly, at almost any age, when they throw with their nondominant hands, boys achieve only slightly better scores than girls. And boys, no matter how well they throw with their dominant hands, tend to "throw like a girl" with the nondominant."
This of course can only mean one thing: girls have two left arms! This doesn't mean they can't train it to throw well... Overarm throwing is clearly serious business, and a lot needs to be taken into account.

The only remaining question is in a competition of throwing (poo?) who is best, Man or Monkey: "This research examined hand preference and postural characteristics of aimed throwing in capuchin monkeys and humans. We sought to directly compare the throwing performances of these primates, particularly the extent to which target distance influences hand preference, throwing posture, and throwing accuracy. For both species we found positive correlations between target distances for throwing accuracy, direction and strength of hand preference, percentage of bipedal vs tripedal throws, and percentage of overarm vs underarm throws. Throwing accuracy did not vary as a function of right vs left hand use although for monkeys throwing accuracy was positively associated with hand preference strength. We noted a sex difference among humans as males threw more accurately than did females. Between-species analysis indicated that humans exhibited greater right- vs left-hand use, greater hand preference strength, a greater relative percentage of bipedal vs tripedal throws, and a lower relative percentage of overarm vs underarm throws than did monkeys. We believe that the capuchin monkey is an informative nonhuman primate model of aimed throwing in humans and that research examining the throwing behavior of capuchins provides insight into the neurological and behavioral characteristics that underlie coordinated multi-joint movements across the primate order."

1010 by 2010

That's 10¹⁰ base pairs of DNA sequenced or synthesized by one person in a single day. That's a hell of a lot. More than enough to cover the whole human genome several times. And that's just one person. Imagine how much a factory full of monkey could do. If you think this sounds ridiculous, read the rationale for the prediction in this great article. As shown below, the projection is based on the current exponential growth of biotechnology, mimicking the trend known as Moore's law, where the number of transistors that can be fit on a microchip has been growing exponentially for the last 50-60 years. The article makes some interesting comparisons between the two industries and also features some of the best discussion I've read on the future of biotechnology and its place in society.