Quack of the week: Healing Water Online

In our last quack of the week, Kamel exposed companies selling algae found in pond water, and claiming they could harness the power of your stem cells. This week I found an even more impressive treatment: tap water. That's right someone has found a way to sell you tap water with the premise that it will heal you. And it's not even Coca-Cola.

Here is the explanation. First you have to accept the fact that genes do not control life. That's a lie. We just repeated it for so long that that we have come to believe it is true. But apparently it was never tested scientifically. If you don't believe me, watch this video. The quack behind this video is Dr. Bruce Lipton, who apparently was teaching medicine at the University of Wisconsin. He also wrote a book called the "Biology of Belief", which is a deceptive title since it's actually about changing your own biology with your mind. The irony of which seems to be lost on the author. Apparently he's also pretty much discovered epigenetics, which if you were not aware explains how energy from the mind alters protein expression.

While lots of nutjobs seem to love the book, there are few amusing reviews on amazon such as this one by a Columbia University researcher:

"Furthermore, Dr. Lipton claims that illness can be cured by mere belief. This isn't only nonsense; it is incredibly unprofessional and irresponsible. This is the equivalent of a TV Evangelist banging his palm against the foreheads of cancer patients, pushing them back down in their seats and proclaiming them cured, only to then say later to an investigating reporter who mentions that the patients later died that the Lord's magic stopped working because doubt entered into the hearts of the disbelieving patients. What an incredibly cruel sentiment. "

Which brings me back to water. Dr Lipton's ideas have inspired the creators of "Healing Water Online" because apparently your mind can also alter water and vice-versa. Now I'm sure a cold shower can elicit some spiritual experiences in some people (I highly recommend that link). In fact I often praise the lord when somebody flushes while I'm in the shower. But this is different. Somehow, this has to do with the energy you can produce with your mind, and the unique properties of water. For example did you know that:

"Water's reputation as a powerful solvent derives from its ability to absorb energy vibrations and its particular electromagnetic and chemical qualities, being able to break down substances into their constituent parts. Naturally flowing water creates complex structures: micro clusters of vibrating energy centres, constantly receiving and transmuting energy from every contact the water body makes; and laminar structures which generate energy from the interaction of the planes against each other."

So how can I harness this power you ask? Well it's easy, you just need to buy a $144 jug that has a propeller inside. Why? Well isn't obvious by now:

"The compact motor housed in the lid of the 2-litre jug drives a left-turning silver propeller wich forms a beautiful vortex throughout the depth of the plain tap water for 3½ minutes; this re-enlivens, restructures, reoxygenates and purifies the water by the spiral movement alone.
The energy wave field of normal tap water is 35 cm; Living Water Vortex Jug's is 2,4 metres! A healthy person has an energy wavelength of about 1,9 metres, and as a person consists of 75% water, s/he will be regenerated by the greater energy of restructured water."

Wow what a deal. That's almost a 26% increase of your wavelenght, or only 88 cents per centimeter! And they also suggest you combine your healing water with long distance healing. That's right, for only $44 they will channel energy to you, sorta like what kamel's power to make people dumb at a distance. Actually it's exactly like that.