Wednesday, September 10, 2008

IgNobel candidate?

Leaked to the bayblab from our very own ottawa/hull patent office. Now I have fully restored the poo/sex content to the bayblab:

My product is a device composed of a cotton like material it is cylindrically shaped and bears small perforations whereby an agreable scented powder or perfume may exute it's odor.
My product bears roughly the same dimensions of "TAMPON".
My product is went to be wedged between the cheeks of the buttock.
My product illiminates anal itching due to sweat accumulation and residual of human excrement due~~~~ improper or insuffient wiping of the anus after having gone to the washroom.
My product absorbs excess anal sweat, creates a dry comfort zone
My product illiminates embarrassing flatulance sounds.


Anonymous said...

That's an awesome product, though the effort in getting a patent seems pointless. Now that I've read this, there's nothing stopping me from using cotton balls and talcum powder!

Now, I realize that this seems to be a french submission but you would think that they would be proofread. "exute it's odor"? "illiminates"? "insuffient"?

Anonymous said...

This is very similar to something that did actually win an Ig back in 2001.

Under-ease, underwear with a charcoal filter built in to absorb and eliminate odors from flatus.