Friday, June 08, 2007

Underpants science

This morning while I was perusing my drawers for a fresh pair of boxers i noticed that all my white boxers had holes, while all my black boxers were intact. Considering I bought them on the same day, I wash them together, they are the same model, why would that be? I have two theories: the color theory and the textile theory. Perhaps I wear white more often, perhaps because subconsciously they look cleaner or something like that meaning that colour influences my decision, not all that surprising considering the colour of a placebo pill influences its efficacy. Fake blue sleeping pills for example are better than red ones. The other possibility is that the textile on the white underpants was treated differently, for example in the manufacture it may have been bleached, leaving the fibers more vulnerable and weaker.

Speaking of underpants, we all know that tighty whities are bad for sperm count, but there is good research out there about the effect of textile on sperm count. So stay away from polyester, apparently the static may be harmful to your swimmers. If you're really paranoid about your underpants, you may also cook them for 30 min in the microwave to get rid of fungus, as it obliterates any candida spores. I was terrified of candida as a kid after my friend who was infected was denied any type of sweets. don't take that chance, nuke your boxers...

Finally I came across this disturbing pubmed abstract about dogs chewing on testes. So avoid to putting treats in your underpants.


5 comments:

Bayman said...

I wonder if you could microwave your underpants every time you wear them and not have to do laundry anymore?

Christopher said...

The Tighty Whitey bad for sperm count turned out to be false by a whole slew of studies, now you just have to face getting a wedgie

Anonymous Coward said...

I guess you are right Christopher, while the older litterature supports that theory the newer studies seem to refute it ...

Anonymous Coward said...

however, temperature is affected : "The following interactions were demonstrated by means of multivariate analysis of variance for repeated measurements: scrotal temperatures were significantly higher for tight versus loose fitting versus absent undertrousers. Furthermore, significantly lower scrotal temperatures were identified for walking versus sitting as well as for the right versus the left scrotal side. CONCLUSIONS: The present study suggests that wearing tight fitting undertrousers is associated with higher scrotal and consequently testicular temperatures than wearing loose fitting undertrousers or none."

Bayman said...

Justification for going commando! But I wonder if in turn going commando exposes you to high risks of testicular damage, getting things caught in zippers or other places...