Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Penises of the Animal Kingdom

Evolution has graced the Earth with a multitude of different species, and with them an array of genitalia that make the human frank-and-beans look like, well, frank and beans by comparison. Here's a list of some of the most interesting ones I've come across.

6) Barnacle - Despite spending it's entire lifetime bathed in frigid seawater, the barnacle doesn't suffer from shrinkage. On the contrary, the Dirk Diggler of the animal kingdom has a penis up to 50 times it's body length - making it the world's largest penis, relative to size. The reason size DOES matter? They're immobile and need the length to reach their mates.

5) Kangaroo - We've talked about interesting penis shapes before with the corkscrew penis of certain ducks. Pigs also have a corkscrew penis, but why go for a single freakshow when you can double your pleasure instead? Like many marsupials, the kangaroo has a bifurcated (or forked) penis, and the scrotum and testes are in the front. This matches the dual vaginas/uteri of female marsupials. Stranger still, the echidna penis (pictured) has 4 heads!

4) Dolphins - The dolphin, like some other cetaceans, has a retractable penis that is also prehensile, meaning it can grab, hold and wrap around an object (think monkey tail). Imagine the benefits of such an appendage! This guy did. But what's even more disturbing, is this joke faq about how to have sex with a dolphin. At least I hope it's a joke.

3) Argonaut - This specialized octopus can use its penis without having physical contact with a female. Like many cephalopods, the penis is a special tentacle called the hectocotylus. In the case of the argonaut it detaches and swims to its mate, embedding in the female and impregnating her.

2) Bee - Like any man, the male honeybee climaxes with an explosion. Unlike men, the male bee genitals literally explode and snap off inside the queen. Afterwards, the males do what any of us would if our testes exploded and our penis snapped off - they wander off to the corner and die. A similar phenomenon has also been observed in certain spiders. The evolutionary rationale is that the detached genitals act as a plug preventing other males from mating with the queen

1) Bedbug - The bedbug doesn't mess around with foreplay. In fact it doesn't even mess around with female genitals. Instead, the male uses its dagger-like johnson to pierce the body of the female and inseminate her. The bedbug isn't the only species with such a violent mating process. Hermaphroditic flatworms duel with their penises with the loser being pierced and becoming pregnant. I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!


Anonymous Coward said...

When it comes to mammals we pale in comparison of the tapir: "The penis of the male tapir is very long when erect (>49cm). The tapir has one of the longest penis to body size ratios of any animal. The specimen of tapir believed to have the longest penis ever observed is currently on display at the Koenigsberg Zoo."

Or the blue whale (>5m)
elephant (>1.5m)

kamel said...

Strangely, male gorillas - which are relatively huge have what might qualify as a micropenis - 4cm in length.

Kevin Z said...

This is the best post ever! You should check out Dr. Tatina's Sex Advice to All Creation. Lots of great sex info around the animal kingdom for a fun read.

Cameron McCormick said...

Don't forget the Argentine lake duck. A bird having a penis in the first place is somewhat unusual, let alone one that can be longer than its own body. The enthusiasm behind the title is pretty hysterical.

Sweet blog by the way, you've been linked.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where the kangaroo penises are forked thing got started. It is true that many of the more generic marsupials, the opossums, daysures, yapoks, sugar gliders, etc have forked penises, (split uterus in the female to maximize embryo production surface - corresponding male split organ)

Kangaroos comparitively go for a quality over quantity approach and the males penises are normally not forked.

Anonymous said...

i would so suck that orcas dork

Desiree said...

This has to be one of the best blog posts I've ever read. Totally awesome, really infomative and basically disgusting. Thanks! : )

Manuel Queso Badilla said...

Generic Viagra

Grow Your Penis said...

That Kangaroo picture is freaky. Weird weird animal.
Magna RX Reviews
Vimax Reviews
Herbal V
Maxoderm Cream

generic viagra for men said...

Thanks lot for this rare information I like it so much keep posting and updating the blog on regular basis.

Smith ALan

Ross said...

dsquared shoesdsquared shoes
dsquared shoes 2011dsquared shoes 2011
dsquared jeans womendsquared jeans women
dsquared t shirtsdsquared t shirts
dsquared jeans mendsquared jeans men
dsquared hoodiesdsquared hoodies
dsquared beltsdsquared belts
asics shoes saleasics shoes sale
asics shoesasics shoes
asics running shoesasics running shoes
asics mexico 66asics mexico 66
onitsuka kanuchionitsuka kanuchi
timberland bootstimberland boots
christian louboutin shoeschristian louboutin shoes
karen millen dresseskaren millen dresses
nike air max plusnike air max plus
maillot de football 2011maillot de football 2011

vibrams said...

The christian louboutin heels is designed for the ladies. Since the pumps was born, the ladies life become colorful. The christian louboutin evening pumps are the god's masterwork. Who invited thechristian louboutin pumps? Seldom people knew, but I think every lady would be grateful for him. Among the countless pumps, the christian louboutin peep toe is the most outstanding ones. The elegant pattern, the delicate style all mold the ladies perfect leg profile. Flowers in the spring of 2011 creeping, up from hair to clothes continue to footwear, have had a brilliant up. In such a glamor, spring and summer flowers now here. Romance is a woman's mood, exquisite flowers just right of expression in our gestures, the woman, how can we not love the romantic temperament so that they distributed the flowers do? 2011 flowers bloom will enjoy different poses! The Christian Louboutin 2011 Sandals also can adds the hright of the ladies, it bring surprise to the short lady. Especially the red sole of the louboutin heels, magic and sexy, many ladies are crazy. The red sole, the first feature of the Christian Louboutin stroe.

abercrombiefitch said...

the iconic sneaker was originally introduced on now.
Nike Air Max 2011
Nike Air Max Shoes
Nike Air Max
Nike Air Max Wildwood Supreme
Nike Air Max Turbulence
Nike Air Max Skyline
Nike Air Max Goadome
Nike Air Max Fitsole
Nike Air Max Zenyth
Nike Air Max Boots
Nike Air Max Zoom Kobe
Nike Air Max Tn
Nike Air Max LTD
Nike Air Max Presto
Nike Air Max BW
Nike Air Max 24 7
Nike Air Max 2010
Nike Air Max 2011
Nike Air Max 2009
Nike Air Max 95
Nike Air Max 91
Nike Air Max 87
Nike Air Max 180
Nike Air Max Griffey Max 1
Nike Air Max 90
Nike Air Max 1
Abercrombie and Fitch London
Abercrombie & Fitch Clothes
Vibram Shoes
Cheap Air Max
Nike Air Max Shoes
is available in a vivid array of colors, including, Jiffy Black, Pigeon Grey, Shell White, Dodger Blue, and Beaver Brown.

truddy said...

Louboutins shoes are regarded as as since the symbol of sexy and classy.Christian Louboutin names after a famous shoes designer who launched his line of high-end women's shoes. Now come to Louboutin UK store! We will change you into a gorgeous girl! Here provides Discount Christian Louboutin Sandals,Cheap Christian Louboutin,Louboutin Mens Collection and so on.The unique and well-Designed shoes favored by the world, signed with the Christian Louboutin red soles of the mark, giving high heels and covetable accessories, system pumps and elegant luxury Christian Louboutin clutch has to be available almost all fashion only. We now provide Christian Louboutin shoes with free shipping and save 60% off! Hurry up! Christian Louboutin UK store is your first choice!

sex work said...

I found your website is very informative and enjoyable

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharring importent information in this blog.
It was very nice.
Aşk flashları,yazılı soruları'new generation portal.

xiaofen said...

Christian Louboutin Outlet Online shoe store is up for many years.A man who wants to play its expertise, it must fit the social environment needs. If you need from the social environment, their expertise will lose value. Therefore, we have according to community needs, determine their own actions, better to show themselves. Christian Louboutin Outlet Online shoes wear can make you look more beautiful, more attractive feet. said...

This is an interesting information, Keep posting such an awesome blog post.


Elite Escorts said...

Your Mademoiselle escorts agency is select the most charming, friendly and the finest London escorts for our Escort gallery and provide the best escort services in London.

Your Escort Agency said...

Your Escort Agency offers exclusive and most beautiful London escort girls of various nationalities.

buy ritalin online said...

This is really a great and awesome post shared here. Nice job done and thanks for sharing.

Nike Football Cleats said...

After becoming one of the most popular Nike mercurial vapor on the professional field, new Nike mercurial vapor fg are now one of the most anticipated boot releases here on our Nike vapor soccer shoes online store! Once again, Nike have delivered with another new CTR that is sure to go down well. The Nike Football Cleats have earned an honourable reputation for delivering optimum comfort. Packed with all the original Maestri II technologies, Best Soccer Cleats that their boot lets you switch from the last line of defence to the first point of attack in a matter of seconds. The dampening pods remain the stand out feature on the Nike mercurial superfly and are a key asset in achieving the theory of cushioning the ball and applying more boot surface area. The Nike mercurial vapor has achieved numerous impressive performance reviews and with this exquisite new color-way these distinguished control Nike football boots are sure to go from strength to strength. And as Fabregas plays now in Barcelona, we have reasons to believe that CTR360 will do even better.

London escorts said...

Bestescort4U more then ten years providing best London escorts companionship in the UK.
London escorts

Escorts London said...

Hot - Collection is a honest and confidential London escort agency which provides genuine London escorts girls for gentlemen of taste.
London escorts

Generic Antabuse said...

nice + good =best
very good blog

NIKE most models said...

Ah good exciting content! Will always come to our attention. To bring you good news-works perfect! So how is the Nike Football Cleats cleatschanged? the original Nike Speed boot!New products Nike Mercurial Vapor Superfly for us.the new Vapor football boots have undergone the same new paint work as the nike mercurial vapor superfly III and now feature the Nike Football Boots updated asymmetric.

best organic seo services said...

I really enjoy simply reading all of your weblogs. Simply wanted to inform you that you have people like me who appreciate your work. Definitely a great post. Hats off to you! The information that you have provided is very helpful.

buy adderall online said... is not an online pharmacy but an escrow service that connects you with a licensed pharmacy in a safe and trustworthy environment. When you use our service, you can rest assure that you will always get what you paid for, and this is guaranteed.

String Bikini said...

This is a really good read for me. Must agree that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw. Thanks for posting this informative article.

London Escorts said...

Only Pleasures is a well established and respected London escort agency. We are pride of ourselves on having the most exquisite selection of escort girls in London for your pleasure…

fix credit score said...

Nice blog and interesting post it seems nature has all sorts of surprises.

Escorts of London said...

Escort of London agency a well-established and respected agency. We have a great selection of girls in London for your pleasure.

Natural supplements said...

Wonderful post. I am searching awesome news and idea. What I have found
from your site, it is actually highly content. You have spent long time
for this post. It's a very useful and interesting site. Thanks!

Natural supplements

Hosting said...

I really enjoy simply reading all of your weblogs. Simply wanted to inform you that you have people like me who appreciate your work. Definitely a great post. Hats off to you! The information that you have provided is very helpful.Website Hosting Companies

jack pic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Citrulline said...

Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?

Mohit Gupta said...

The Cheap Cloud Server Hosting India has also made up to the most advanced cloud computing technologies that interconnects the unlimited servers and thus create a single system on it.
Cheap Cloud Server Hosting India

Mohit Gupta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mohit Gupta said...

The SSL Certificate in India makes out the best certificate underlying the roof of the encryption to secure all the communication and protection levels between them.
SSL Certificate in India

Mohit Gupta said...

The hosting services are owned and maintain very powerful web servers which basically stored our web pages. These hosting services connect the web servers to the internet and thus provide very powerful connections, while enabling many users to access the web pages at the same time for the Cheap Unlimited Hosting services for the customers to afford them for their valuable use.
Cheap Unlimited Hosting

animalsbirds said...

Kangaroo Animals Photos Free Images Wallpapers

techdata solution said...

HADOOP Training is a software framework which is used for storing and processing BIG DATA. It is an open source tool built up on java platform and focuses on improving the data processing.This course sparkles the depth knowledge of BIG DATA framework on HADOOP Training in Mumbai using some of the modules which includes the HDFS, YARN etc.
HADOOP Training in Mumbai

Creativehighs said...

Creative Highs is best advertising agency.We work with our clients to make creative connections between their brand and its audience. Our expertise, primarily cover four areas: brand consulting, graphic design, Social media, etc.
Advertising Agency

Lxi Me said...

Do you want a longer and thicker penis without expensive surgery, extenders or suction devices that just don't work?

Introducing the Penis Enlargement Bible, a 94 page downloadable e-book that has an exclusive two step system that can growth your penis by between 2 and 4 inches within 89 days using safe natural methods.

===> Get BIGGER and LONGER Without Surgery <=====

The methods and techniques in the PE Bible are exclusive to this unique program. The two step system involves low cost off the shelf natural supplements and a specially designed exercise program. Many users experience gains of almost an inch within just a few weeks of starting this unique program!

Imagine having 2-4 inches of extra length and girth added onto your penis size, this Penis Enlargement Bible makes it possible. Over 5000 copies of this product have already been sold, and unlike most products on the market there is real video proof from actual users that show REAL results. You can see the video here: ===> Forget Surgery, Pills And Extenders <=====

Forget about surgery, pills and weights, they DONT work! This DOES work, but you need to follow the methods contained in the guide.

But don't take my word for it, click here to see actual video proof and testimonials from REAL users:

===> DON'T Do This To Make It Bigger <=====

shanaya sharma said...

really it is an informative blog...