Thursday, May 10, 2007

License the Technology Before You Play With Your Cat, Travel at Lightspeed

That's right. If you've ever teased your cat with a laser pointer or traveled across galaxies for money, you may just get sued.

Govern yourself accordingly.

Method of exercising a cat

US Patent Issued on August 22, 1995
No. 144473 filed on 1993-11-02


A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.

Of course that's not nearly as ridiculous as the anti-gravity spaceship patent:

United States Patent 6,960,975
Volfson November 1, 2005

Space vehicle propelled by the pressure of inflationary vacuum state


A space vehicle propelled by the pressure of inflationary vacuum state is provided comprising a hollow superconductive shield, an inner shield, a power source, a support structure, upper and lower means for generating an electromagnetic field, and a flux modulation controller. A cooled hollow superconductive shield is energized by an electromagnetic field resulting in the quantized vortices of lattice ions projecting a gravitomagnetic field that forms a spacetime curvature anomaly outside the space vehicle. The spacetime curvature imbalance, the spacetime curvature being the same as gravity, provides for the space vehicle's propulsion. The space vehicle, surrounded by the spacetime anomaly, may move at a speed approaching the light-speed characteristic for the modified locale.

Inventors: Volfson; Boris (Huntington, IN)
Appl. No.: 11/079,670
Filed: March 14, 2005


Bayman said...

Forgot to link to the great Slate article that cited these USPTO oversights in the first place. Good overview on why the US patent system is broken.

muebles said...

Quite effective material, thank you for the article.