You know you're a lab rat when:
You open the toothpaste with one hand.
You wash your hands before and after using to the washroom.
When you hear tween, you think of the surfactant not the age group.
For you, media is something which increases your culture.
You can identify organs on roadkills.
You have a callus on your thumb.
You use the word "aliquot" in regular sentences.
Sometimes you momentarily vanish from social activities because of a timepoint.
You've never worn a clean lab coat.
You don't fear rodents, rodents fear you.
You say "orders of magnitude" in regular sentences.
You flinch when you hear the word "significant".
Showing up at 10AM and having a coffee is a productive day.
You can't stand god-like physicians, while secretly wishing you had their job.
You're very good at diluting things.
You're also very good at transferring small amounts of liquid between containers.
You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol.
You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
You say “conjugation” instead of “sex”, and "pili" sounds dirty.
SOB is not an insult, it's what you grow your bugs in.
You say "mills" and "megs".
No-one in your family has any idea what you do.
You can make a short film in power point.
You consider a green laser pointer to be science bling.
A falcon is not a bird....
And you have 5 of them with different types of water.
When your fruits go bad and you get fruit flies, you can't help but check their eye colour
You own invitrogen t-shirts and actually wear them.
You think that drosophila geneticists have a good sense of humour.
You refer to your children as the F1.
You've suffered carpal tunnel from the pipetman.
You've used kimwipes as kleenex.
A timer clipped to the hip is not only practical, but dead sexy.
You've played Battleship using tip boxes.
The front pages of Science is your light reading.
You think the following is a quality insult: "I've seen cells
more competent than you!".
The scent of latex reminds you of work, not play.
You're looking for a cooking book by maniatis.
You've used, "I'd like to get into your genes" as a pickup line.
You've made dry ice grenades.
You've lost many friends to ice grenades...
Podcast
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You pick fights with quacks and creationists :)
The stains on your lab coat have become hard-set patterns that welcome new additions every year
You have prescription goggles
"Dense" makes you think not of an insult but of the centrifuge.
In the summer you have outside shoes and inside shoes.
...you read this list to see how many applied to you.
You need an electronic security card to move between floors.
Your computer is worth more than your car.
You know the channel numbers for the Discovery (and Discovery Health), Learning, Science Channel, Surgery, NASA, SciFi, and National Geographic.
You TIVO Myth Busters.
You wonder how many g's set your washing machine to before doing laundry.
You like to think of computer parts as "subunits".
you check the meniscus when measuring liquids in the kitchen
When doing laundry you have thought at least once about improvising the washing machine into a centrifuge...
You want to use a magnetic stirrer in your kitchen!
You don't put YOUR "gel" in your hair.
Your best jigsaw was a 20 piece S. Blot.
You know what an S. Blot is.
Your eppi pen is not for allergies, but the sharpie you use to write on your tubes...
You use et al. outside of science writing.
You notice everyone else is making more money than you
You subconsciously reach for your 70% ethanol bottle after touching things in the kitchen.
You have to turn off shows like CSI in disgust when they pipet bubbles or get HPLC results in 30 seconds.
You name your "Rock Band" the In Vitro Gentlemen and honestly think it is an awesome name for a band.
You name your triathlon relay team the wild types and think it's an awesome name.
You know exactly what 10 microliters of liquid looks like.
When you get yogurt or sour cream from a container at home you barely open the lid and use a *really* clean spoon.
"Hedgehog" makes you think about cell signaling, not a prickly mammal.
Instead of saran wrap in your kitchen, you have parafilm.
On Fridays, you enjoy high-throuhgput drinking.
Your boss thinks your name is Mouselady ... and you don't argue with him.
You've taken a microscope camping.
You name your pets / children after your favorite molecules.
Before when I told someone I was going to blast a protein, I was refering to a Friday night. Now it refers to a Monday morning.
You know exactly what are the effects of the drugs you take...
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