Take this man for example, giving a review on amazon:
"Listen, maybe because I am a man, and in our society men have been stereotyped as helpless boobs who couldn't make a bowl of cereal without the help of a wife/mom/fairy godmother, I should be not the person to review this product. But since my wife likes this vacuum, and because as such I cannot smash into a million pieces with a fungo bat, I have to write this review to get even the Electrolux Oxygen Ultra, an object that is now my sworn enemy, from now until the end of eternity. I hate this vacuum. Every moment I use it is a chance to ruminate on how much I hate it. Seriously. I vacuum around the house saying to myself, "I hate this vacuum. You know what? This is a really terrible vacuum. I don't think I like this vacuum. [...] This is clearly what I get for being dumb enough to buy a $600 vacuum. I'm sure the Electrolux has the sucking power of 1,000 Kevin Federlines, and can filter out all the potential carcinogens and death spores I've been told pollute our air."
And contrast it to this man:
"A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. [...] His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis."
You may (or may not) be surprised to learn that this type of injury is quite common. According to this report in the European Urology Journal, out of 48 masturbation related injury, 12 were from inserting objects into the urethra while a whopping 36 were from vacuum cleaners.
According to this abstract, it is a dangerous occupation: "Erotic stimulation by the use of vacuum cleaners or electric brooms appears to be a common form of masturbation. Unfortunately, and contrary to apparent public appreciation, injury due to this form of autostimulation may not be unusual. Five cases of significant penile trauma resulting from this form of masturbation are presented, with a spectrum of severe injuries, including loss of the glans penis."
But the best part is the "explanation" that is given to the physician...