Friday, March 30, 2007

Quack of the week

This week's quackery is a bit less expensive, and a little less dangerous and it looks like a small purple dildo. The Tesla purple personal oscillator can not only serve as a sex toy but apparently also as an electro-magnetic shield, and an energy source. According to Life technology (TM), this invention comes from exclusive papers from Tesla himself. He must be oscillating in his grave. According to the company "The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ emits vast quantities of energy, which directly repairs, strengthens and protects the energetic fields of the human mind body and soul". Wow a new energy source you're thinking, finally we can wean ourselves from fossil fuels.

How does it work? : "The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ outer shell is made of aluminium, which is first anodised (electrolytic oxidation) and then colored. The spin of the atoms and electrons of the aluminium is thus changed in such a way, that The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ is said to vibrate in resonance with the fundamental energy (Chi, Prana, Orgon) of the universe. (...) With anodising, the field of the plating is changed and interacts with tachyons. The surface of the plating has a unique crystal-structure."
Wow now this is cool, I didn't remember reading about this in quantum mechanics, but I love to think that the anodization of my beer can will create faster than light particles.

What does it do? : well many things, but my personal favorites is that it repairs DNA and retards aging! Wow somebody needs to send one to Aubrey De Grey. "will support the immune system and physical healing (e.g. headaches, cuts, wounds, fractures etc.)". Notice how all these quacks always refer back to the immune system...

How do we measure the effect? : "the use of The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ will eventually raise your frequency rate of angstrom units per second." hmm lets see, yeah frequency rate, you mean Hz or something (oscilation/second)? hmmm angstrom per second, you mean speed? Like on the highway my car goes at 2.7e11 angstrom/sec. I'll tell that to the cop next time...

At 179$ I don't see how anyone could pass this up.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

whatever fuckwad. Show me one peer reviewed study proving purple dildos don't improve your ESP abilities!

Anonymous said...

who needs the power of tesla when prayer can heal :|

apparently praying to a dead pope cures what fails you... a 46 year old nun claims to have been cured of her parkinson's disease after praying to the late john paul II

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070330/wl_afp/vaticanpopenunfrance_070330202438

Anonymous Coward said...

you can energize yourself faster using an AC plug...

johnnybdaddy said...

good article! you tore them up!

Anonymous said...

OOOOhhhh you tore them a new hole... Whatever there Bo-bo swing from a tire and shut up. Where did you get your edjumakayshen to be a grad student. You probably don't know even simple things like the laws of energy or physics. What should I expect from a retard who has nothing but porn as his favorite entertainment. I bet the cheap beer goes good with your very limited budget and over inflated self image. Here's a thought learn a marketable skill.

Viagra Online said...

Is it a sex toy?? I think that it is so interesting to many men or girls!!
hahahaha!!! I think that the information is so interesting because it is a big help to many people who need some energy!!