Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Grant proposal

I've been working all weekend on a grant on Williams syndrome for a class. Over the course of that weekend I read over the internets twice, and I found this great scientific proposal which we should replicate in the bay: Breeding M&M candies.

"Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior...
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen...

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms.
I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one."


Bayman said...

I am intrigued by the linkage between M&M color and stress resistance. I think we should see if we can replicate those results and publish on the bayblab.

kamel said...

If we're really interested in novel work, we should attempt these experiments with Smarties! (For our US friends, Smarties in Canada - and the rest of the world - are similar to M&Ms, while the candy you know as 'smarties' are 'rockets' here.)

Anonymous Coward said...

new study: "However, our study shows that although people log on with a purpose, they are now being offered so much choice and online distraction that many forget what they are there for, and spend hours aimlessly wilfing instead."

Anonymous said...

whats with all the candy pics-as if i dont have aenough chocolate cravings!